


Swim in the Storm

by Jackb



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Canon Divergence, Comfort, Fix-It, Gen, I stick close to canon but give crefit where it's due, Missing Scene, Post-Season/Series 03, Praise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:28:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28645260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jackb/pseuds/Jackb
Summary: After the event, Vance calls Tilly in his office, she waits to be scolded severely. Vance is having none of it.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Swim in the Storm

**Author's Note:**

> I am so disappointed with the final episode of season three. Burnham became a Mary Sue (she already was, but not to this point) and the writer pushed it so far she did what every Mary Sue leads to, break her own universe, the plot and the characters around. She is not a character anymore, she is a one-man crew. Pushing it so far made the episode and the characters around her lose their shine and place in the plot. I’m here to fix slightly the mess that has been done. No Burnham bashing, we don’t do that here !! just small change to rebalance that episode a bit better.

Despite her everlasting enthusiasm and optimism, Sylvia find difficult to take a steady breath. Whatever she tries, to calm herself, fail miserably at the turmoil in her stomach and heart. She keeps her hands busy with each other as she pace the place outside of Admiral Vance office with calm, steady steps. Not that it helps even a little, she is just used to doing that.

She cried before, but she feels like crying again. She holds the tears though, it’s definitely not the moment. She is not sure what awaits for her in that room. She absolutely messed up while being in the chair. Why give her the position as number one in the first place ? She is just an ensign, of course, she was going to mess up.

Vance glance at her when Saru explained he would leave the conn to her during the mission had been justified.

She is not even angry at Saru for asking her to be his number one in the first place, she is angry at herself, to have been stupid enough to take the position. She should have known, she knew it but she ignored it because why would she refuse a position that would get her closer to the captaincy ? She’s been a fool.

But an ensign as a number one is ridiculous and it almost coasted the ship, her friends.. What’s left of the federation. She winces at that. Her incompetence almost leads to the destruction of the Federation. Has it not be for Osyraa peculiar and unexpected plan.. Tilly can’t even begin to process it all.

She messed up and now she will face the consequences. She is not sure what they would be, hopefully she can stay in Starfleet. She will work harder, prove she can be trusted again, prove she won’t mess up next time, if there is even hope anymore of a next time. If her dream is even still accessible. All she can promise herself is to give everything to make it happen, to show them they can count on her and that she won’t let anyone down like she did this time.

“Come in.” She hears by the comms on the door.

She fails miserably to take a steady breath and follow the order without more delay, no way she will make Admiral Vance wait.

“You wanted to see me sir ?” Her voice only gives away false confidence. Vance looks at her for a second but is quickly back to his holo-pad.

“Yes. I wanted to talk with you about what happened.”

  
She nod and give him a broken ‘yes’ when she sees he awaited for more. He looks back at her and his scrutiny is almost unbearable for Tilly. What does he think ? What does he await of her ? She can’t tell. What is she supposed to do ?

“Why don’t you tell me what you think about what happened ? How you dealt with the situation.”

“Well, we all know I’ve dealt pretty poorly with what happened.” She breaks into one of her scoffs, like she can’t believe he would ask her something so obvious.

“Is that so ?”

“Yes.” She composes herself back. “There’s not a second were I don’t think what I could have done differently, how I could have made it better, what I missed, what I forgot, the mistake I’ve made and what I should have been doing. Sir.” She pauses, but he waits for her to continue so she does. “Osyraa took the ship from me too quickly, I failed to protect everybody. I took too long to retake the ship, my incompetence almost led the federation to be destroyed.. ”

“From me, I failed, I took, my incompetence.” He repeats. “You weren’t alone on that ship.”

“No but I was the acting captain, it was my responsibility.”

“What do you think of the crew during the attack ?”

“They were all brave and followed my orders, even though they could have disputed them, coming from an ensign. We worked together hard to retake the ship even facing death they kept going.”

“And you don’t think you deserve to be part of those praises ?”

“Sir ?” She hesitates.

“I’ve read the reports and logs and even if I initially thought you did poorly on the chair after reading them I must say you had a great instinct, you deducted quickly it was the Viridian that was coming and not a Starfleet vessel, you didn’t wait a second to take the necessary precaution. You decided to protect the away team instead of putting Discovery to safety.”

“I was wrong.”

“Were you ? Any captain would have hesitated. Protecting your crew and a dilithium planet or putting the spore drive to safety is not an easy choice, none are necessarily better than the other. You faced Osyraa pretty admirably, gave your crew confidence just by the way you answered her.”

“She took the ship soon after.”

“Yes, after another near-burn almost destroyed the ship and put its defense down. If Stamets hadn’t argued with your order to jump right away, the ship wouldn’t have been taken.”

“I understood his concern. Mister Booker provided a solution I hadn’t seen which resolved the argument.”

“Hm.” Vance nod. “Even after the ship was taken you didn’t give up, protecting the crew. You kept leading them, taking hard but necessary decision. You understood the gravity of the situation and managed to put your feeling aside to take the right decision. Taking the ship back was the most important.”

“Osyraa still trapped us.”

“And you’ve kept working on a way to win. You’re the one who thought about the nacelle idea, the one who’ve led the crew to execute it. It’s in the report, your assurance and determination was a major factor in everyone following the order and completing the mission. It’s not easy to face your crew, knowing they will die and still give order.”

“Was it ?”

“Yes ! You seem very kin on putting yourself down, which, from what I’ve heard is not quite your style usually. It’s understandable that this situation shook you. Yes there are things you could have done differently, things you should have thought of, but make no mistake, considering the situation, you’ve done good, better than I expected on such the circumstance.”

  
Tilly press her lips together, anxious, and on the verge to cry and laugh at the same time. She holds it, she is still facing an Admiral after all.

“See, how I see it, is that you’ve been taught how to swim in a pool with buoys and just after we throw you in the middle of the ocean during a storm and told you to swim to safety.” Tilly break a laugh, half-nervous, half-light-hearted.

“Yeah.” She agrees.

“I wouldn’t expect anybody in your circumstance to do much better. You did great. It was definitely not the type of challenge you should have faced taking the conn for the first time. It’s quite a baptism, am I right ?” Tilly nod. “But despite the situation you never gave up, you took strength in your crew and gave them strength to continue, you took difficult decision and never forgot what the goal was. Back on the bridge you’ve recognized you were past your expertise and gave command to someone more apt for the job. Recognizing when you need to step down is a difficult thing to do, but you didn’t let your ego win you made a decision you thought was necessary for the safety of the ship and the mission at a personal cost. Not everybody is capable of that. And it’s what I await of a captain.”

  
Tilly wipe a tear from the corner of her eye.

“I hope this first experience in the chair didn’t turn you down from captaincy ? Because I hope to count you as a captain on the fleet one day.”

“Really ?”

“You’ve shown you have the guts for it.”

“Yes absolutely. I assure you I will work harder, I will do better, I will prove you can trust me.”

“Good ! In the meantime, do not overthink what you did and what happened, we will have all the time to discuss about it later. It’s important to learn of our mistake, but it’s as important to celebrate our victory too. It may have been a dumpy ride, but Discovery is safe, and counting only one casualty, even if regrettable, is pretty impressive. You can be proud.”

“I didn’t do it alone.”

“Nobody works alone, it’s our unity that makes our strength.” He pauses. “Starfleet can be proud to count you in the rank.”

“Thank you Admiral.” He gives a little nod and a gentle smile. The stressed ensign he received minutes ago turned to a hopeful one. Supporting the people under him is never not satisfying. He dismisses her with a trusting smile.

Tilly is out with a smile and a lighter heart, she knows where she is headed next, she has praise and good words to give to the crew who so infallibly followed her during this madness. Without them she couldn’t have done it, and without her they couldn’t have done it. Unity is strength and she is grateful to have people believe in her.

End.


End file.
